Sometimes it feels like it will never end. Memories of those now gone, from all over. My legs screaming at me. The tired mind racing the eternal hamster wheel. And, it is all pain. Physical. Emotional. Dare I say it, spiritual??
Right now, my legs are giving me hourly stabs. Hourly, in a very literal sense. It is now 00:35 hrs, and I have been awoken every hour, on the hour, since 22:00 last night.
Yesterday, for some obscure and inexplicable reason, my silly mind did not go off to the races. I woke up at 04:00 and could not go back to sleep. Racing? No. This time it was emptiness, an almost complete lack of thought. My head couldn't hold onto anything and that echoing miasma that resided in my head drove me to getting up and staying up until I stumbled off to bed last night.
And now... here I be. Rummaging Facebook, reviewing my website, pounding away at my blog. I almost hit YouTube, but was fortunate to have at least a modicum of discipline to avoid that hell-hole.
I am tired. I applied some topical pain cream to my left leg in the hopes that when (if??!!) I go back to bed, I'll be spared the stabbing physical pain. I must do my right leg, also, because this sneaky affliction will travel there if only to drive me insane.
Emotional? Yeah, well, it is mid-November and it is cold outside and simply "that" time of the year. This round, tho', is sending me off to visit the long ago departed and the very recent. Why? Because I am getting old and my head has become screwed on sideways? I dunno. At least, these time visits have been occurring during daylight hours, short as that daylight seems to be.
Spiritual? Well, again, I dunno. I am still a wee bit fuzzy on that "spiritual" aspect to life, so, I'll just leave that to its own devices.
I went out to get a few groceries yesterday. Mainly wanted bread & eggs. Got two loaves of bread, two 12 packs of hot dog buns to go with the two packs of chicken dogs that were on sale. Four packs of Buddig sliced meats, again, on sale. Three hours after getting home, I was smacked with the realization, no eggs. Aw, c'mon, Robb! rEaLlY???
A beautiful day out, so I decided to forgo another Sunday trip on the buses and began the l-on-g overdue cleaning & re-arranging of my living room. I got almost half of it moved and vacuumed and washed. The other half, moving my entertainment area over to the other side of the room, after I dismantle my rock and dragon displays to be later inserted where the TVs are now, shall be... completed? tomorrow. Today. Later. Whatever...
OK. I am blathering now. Even tho' I had little sleep yesterday, I accomplished shit. Even tho' I fear going back to bed right now, I will. Heck, and if need be, I'll stay in bed tomorrow if sleep eludes me. Today. Whatever...
Keep The Faith*